Unexpected Acting Lessons. . .

As I begin to observe my Land Lady inorder to get her story passive agressivly, I find myself discovery little health problems with her here and there. Like Christmas morning, I seem to unwrap little gifts one by one. Last night I was creeping through the house to get myself a glass of water (on TAP), and I just so happened to walk by her door. Since she keeps it open at all times many akward and observational moments tend to ensue quite rapidly. As I snuck by her door, I was taken aback by a strange noise that resembled that of an air pump. Well I just kept walking by. . .actually I did no such thing. I pocked my head in only to find that she uses a portable oxygen concentrator at night to help her breathe. This device, which is a pretty casual thing, makes the user resemble a terminal hospital patient. While most would find this alarming and uncomfortable, I have decided to make it a learning opportunity. Sometimes when she takes naps during the day I stand outside her room, and play out various hospital scenes from outside her room. Sometimes Samson plays the doctor, but considering he's equity I'm usually stuck with the porcelain doll that resembles Angela Lansbury. Sometimes I pretend my husband is in there and he is about to tell me his final wishes. Sometimes I am a villain and this bitch knows too much, but luckily she's in intensive care, and I have to pull the plug before she wakes up. It always helps to make it a little teary too. "He has to make it out alive! How will I live?" or "So there isn't a will?" or "What do you mean where was I last night?" Im practically taking personal acting lessons from Stella Adler. I mean, I have practically renacted every scene from One Life to Live. Now I just await for the day in which she beckons me into her room and whispers, "Come Closer. . ."

-Ready and Willing